‘For me, it was developing the feeling that I deserve better and figuring out how to develop that’ – Danny Snyder
- by Raynee Novak from the Comox Valley Record – Read the source article
As B.C.’s toxic drug crisis nears the 10-year mark, it’s difficult to find someone in the province who hasn’t been affected in some way. Since the province’s first needle exchange program launched in the 1990s, the street supply has only grown stronger and more dangerous – so much so that many people now use drugs simply to stay alive. Yet one of the greatest challenges they face isn’t just the drugs themselves, but the stigma that surrounds drug use.
In this series, The Record aims to show that people who use drugs are our neighbours, coworkers, friends, and family; everyday community members who deserve respect. Addiction does not discriminate, and drug use can touch anyone.
With deep, expressive brown eyes and spiky hair, 18-year-old Danny Snyder sits in a booth and shares his story of drug use and addiction that began when he was just 15.
When Snyder first started using drugs, it was experimentation. He found it to be a form of escapism from things he did not want to think about or deal with.
“There’s definitely lots of reasons that people get into (drug use). Sometimes it’s to fit in, or for me, it was definitely to escape. There were a lot of reasons growing up why I’d want to escape,” explained Snyder.
His move from experimentation to addiction was swift.
“It felt like it was progressing slowly, but over the course of a few years, that’s a pretty quick transformation, from experimentation to near-death experiences with fentanyl. It sneaks up on you and doesn’t feel so dramatic until it really is. It very quickly stops becoming fun,” shared Snyder of his experience.
While Snyder didn’t start with a preferred drug of choice, he soon found himself using whatever he could get.
“I just got into whatever was available and then eventually, I was spending more time out in downtown (Nanaimo) and I was hanging out around a lot of people (who used) because I didn’t want to be around my house. It became really easy because it was being sold. These people are trying to make money.”
When Snyder’s drug use progressed to fentanyl, he wasn’t initially concerned about the toxic drug supply and what it could mean for him while he continued to use.
“The first time I ever did down, which is fentanyl, I went downtown and bought a few points, which is a 10th of a gram. This is the very first time I have ever tried it. I just remember walking home and then I was waking up with paramedics and my dad around me. I had no chance to think about what I was doing. For a lot of reasons, I was just in this mode of trying to feel okay,” shared Snyder.
Snyder’s path to recovery required him to acknowledge the impact his addiction had on others while also examining his own reasons for using.
“I’ve been able to appreciate the people around me a little bit more. So much of it is being able to deal with your mental health – finding meaning in life. That’s definitely the biggest thing (for me).”
When Snyder reached the point he wanted to go into recovery and leave the use of fentanyl behind, he found support from an addiction clinic in Nanaimo.
“The biggest thing at first, and I know there’s a lot of politics surrounding this, but addiction clinics, those that I got involved with in Nanaimo, were definitely the first step to getting away from that life. Going to an addiction clinic, the support, no judgment, and being able to get on opiate antagonist therapy (OAT), were all super beneficial. That’s keeping people alive,” said Snyder.
Snyder used OAT to wean himself off of using street fentanyl. He started with the fentanyl patch.
“I think that was beneficial for keeping me alive, because there’s so many people dying so suddenly (without OAT). (The addiction clinic) was doing anything to lower the risk of a fentanyl death. But getting off the fentanyl patch was very difficult. The withdrawal from that was a lot more intense. But with using fentanyl today, it was just a gamble.”
He related that it used to be that people would be worried about their drug supply being tainted with fentanyl, but now people wanted the fentanyl for their drug of choice.
“It used to be you’d want a certain drug, and it was dirty if it had fentanyl in it, but that changed.”
Despite overdosing on fentanyl several times, Snyder did not put much thought into worrying about how his drugs may have been toxic.
“I never did (worry). A big part of addiction, I think, is a lack of care for your own safety. I think that’s a big thing that needs to be addressed in most addicts. There is very little regard for that. I would use it alone; I wouldn’t test it. It was very reckless,” shared Snyder.
Snyder puts a lot of emphasis on his drug use and addiction being due to his age, his thought process and not seeing the future.
“A big part of being a teenager, a teenager’s risk-taking behaviour is a big thing. I understand the consequences of things a little bit better now. When you’re that young, you don’t even think about that.”
Now, having been working on recovery for a year, Snyder sees things differently and has found ways to look towards the future. He still has barriers to his recovery, though he recognizes them now.
“It’s a meaningful connection with other people. I’ve already got a big part of my negative, unhealthy patterns (understood). Isolation. I think there’s so many different reasons nowadays that everyone is very isolated.”
The clinic that Snyder found helped him into his recovery was the AVI Health and Community Services in Nanaimo and having a sponsor through Narcotics Anonymous (NA).
“My sponsor went (to Last Door in New Westminster) and a huge part of the steps I’ve been taking part in were the steps from Last Door … I’ve been involved with the NA program for just under a year. I’ve found the community very beneficial, and so much of the teachings are very beneficial. The literature has helped so many. Lately, I’ve been trying to find something that works better (for me), actually.”
While not all of the NA teachings work for Snyder, he has found value in being part of the program to help him with the OAT.
“I think the positives from NA are addressing the spiritual side of (addiction). I do see a lot of value in that. I think there is maybe ignorance of the physiological side of it. There is judgment towards opiate antagonist therapy. I guess some people don’t want to consider clean dates if you are on that. I disagree with that,” shared Snyder.
Snyder is new to the Comox Valley, having moved here about a year ago to find a new community that could support him in recovery and keep him away from his previous connections to the area that fed his addiction in Nanaimo.
“I’m trying to build (a support system) again. Such a big piece in another meaningful life is to build connections with people and that’s been a constant thing I’m trying to develop.”
For Snyder to move to recovery, he had to look inside himself and realize that he was important.
“For me, it was developing the feeling that I deserve better and figuring out how to develop that … Once I was able to see myself from the third person and with empathy for myself (I knew I was ready).”
Overdosing has left him with brain damage that will serve as a reminder of his years as an addict, but he is moving forward and embracing each day for the better. He is finding self-worth that he didn’t have before and continues to work on the positives he is uncovering. He reminds himself he needs to be gentle with himself as he navigates through this new life.
“One of the positives that has changed in regards to (my) recovery is finding better male role models. That was something that I wasn’t finding in Nanaimo. There was nothing to look forward to, and I wasn’t seeing anything worth liking in the people I was around. Finding good role models has helped me figure out the kind of person I want to be. The kind of man I want to be.”
The Record would like to thank the participants in this series for sharing their stories.
Mental health, substance use, and grief services and supports are available. Residents may call Service Link at 1-888-885-8824 to learn about supports that best meet their needs. If someone is experiencing a crisis, they can contact the Vancouver Island Crisis Line, available 24/7, at 1-888-494-3888. To access mental health and substance use services, visit Mental Health & Substance Use Services or HelpStartsHere.gov.bc.ca. For harm reduction information and resources, like where to get Naloxone, visit Toward The Heart. The Village clinic, the only OAT (opioid agonist therapy) clinic in the Comox Valley accepting new patients, provides support for people struggling with opioid use. You can contact them at 250 331-6333.
About the Author: Raynee Novak
I am a Multimedia Journalist for the Comox Valley Record who joined the Black Press family in 2024
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